quarta-feira, julho 13, 2005

SÓ PARA GENTE PACIENTE:

Ainda hoje me comovo quando recordo esta história. Passada no Palácio de Queluz, fez-me compreender o quão esperteza-saloia eu sou, e com grande sentido de dignidade.
Aliás, nada que eu não soubesse desde os meus 4 anos, num dia em que, infelizmente, bati com o vulgo "pipi" num baloiço de aço inoxidável (se não era, pareceu-me).
Em vez de desmaiar ou chorar compulsivamente durante 3 dias, limitei-me a deitar um olhar circundante, tentando saber se alguém tinha visto. Como tinha uns poucos de amigos por perto, engoli em seco e saí do parque com o meu porte mais altivo (hum..não muito altivo, ainda ia com restos de pomada no rabito por estar assada), enfim, saí com o meu porte mais digno e fui para casa.
Aí desfiz-me em lágrimas e obriguei a minha avó a ir-me comprar línguas da sogra para me acalmar. Nunca quis dar parte de fraca e daí a história do Palácio de Queluz, anos mais tarde e com os mesmos contornos, que se segue:
Há 10 anos atrás os meus dates eram nos jardins do Palácio de Queluz. Eu sei, parece triste, mas na altura fazia todo o sentido e só se pagava 50 escudos, com a benesse de andarmos todos tapados por folhagens, pelo que chegavama estar 20 casais naquele antro de perdição e que nunca se chegavam a encontrar. Antro de perdição como quem diz, eramos uns parolos de 14 anos cuja maior emoção era dar um beijo com língua.
Bem, a 1ª vez que fui passear para o Palácio foi com um rapaz de quem gostava muito. Estava extasiada por ele ser delegado de turma, e só hoje consigo perceber o quão limitados eram os meus horizontes. Parámos a conversar ao pé de um dos bonitos lagos que lá existiam. Devo recordar, para quem me conhece, ou anunciar, para quem não sabe, que sou completamente míope.
E não é uma miopiazinha ligeira, fofinha com uma certa graça. Não, é miopia mesmo à homem. E nunca quis usar os óculos porque andava sempre em idades complicadas e era muito triste ser 4 olhos naquela altura. Claro que a minha mãe nunca foi nas minhas chantagens emocionais e não me comprava lentes de contacto, 40 contos/ano.
Por isso que remédio tinha eu senão esconder os óculos nos bolsos das calças, só os tirando ocasionalmente para ler os nºs do autocarro e certificar-me que a cancela do comboio estava levantada.
Como os óculos estavam sempre dentro dos bolsos a sua esperança média de vida rondava os 5 meses.
Duas vezes por ano ia à multiópticas, com um ar resignado, explicar pela milionésima vez que me tinha sentado em cima deles e que a culpa não era totalmente minha porque a armação também não devia ser grande coisa (claro que falava sempre de frente para o balcão e recuava também sempre de frente para eles não toparem o meu rabo gigantesco, vulgo cu de prateleira, capaz de chacinar qualquer abre-latas que se me metesse entre as nalgas, quanto mais uma armação de massa).
Tudo isto para explicar que nesse dia, nos jardins, coloquei os óculos em cima do rebordo do lago. Veio uma rabanada de vento e atirou-os para dentro da água mais verdungenta que se possa imaginar.
E, agora, passo a explicar a delicadeza da situação:

Os óculos tinham, juro pela minha saúde, não mais que 5 dias. A minha mãe tinha-me ameaçado de severas punições corporais caso estragasse aqueles óculos antes do fim do ano. Civil, não lectivo(estávamos no princípio de Junho).

Eram Giorgio Armani.

Estávamos nas vésperas das provas globais e eu não via um cu sem os óculos. Nem distinguir um lápis de uma caneta quanto mais escrever numa folha de ponto.

Era o meu 1º date com ele.

Quando os óculos esvoaçaram para dentro do lago fiz logo o flashback da minha vida. Ia certamente morrer às mãos da minha mãe. Se delas sobrevivesse o meu pai não deixaria de meter a colherada, e, naquela altura, o meu irmão hiper-activo também não. Enfim, o fim estava próximo.

Pensam que eu chorei? Pensam que eu esbocei o mais leve gemido, onomatopeia, esgar?

Fiz o meu ar mais natural e complacente do mundo. Ele quis-se logo atirar para dentro do lago.
"Por amor de Deus, não é preciso.." "São só uns óculos, não há problema", disse eu enquanto pensava que não tinha tido tempo para me despedir dos amigos. E ele insistia :"Eu vou lá buscá-los" e eu "Não, achas que sim...vamos mas é comer um gelado" And so on and so on.
O date acabou por volta da hora de almoço, razoavelmente bem, tendo em atenção as circunstâncias.

Ele deixou-me em casa, acenei-lhe um adeus sedutor e soprei-lhe um beijo por entre os dedos, na janela. Mal ficou fora do meu campo de visão, calcei os meus ténis da Avia, o meu soutien reforçado e desatei a correr disparada para o Palácio, mesmo sabendo que era hora de almoço e estava tudo encerrado. Cá fora, com tudo fechado, gritei pelo segurança. Quando ele apareceu pedi para falar com o mais alto dignatário encarregue daquilo tudo. Ele levou-me à Directora e eu, assim sim, dei parte de fraca e chorei muito. Ela só dizia que não podia fazer nada, e eu, literalmente agarrada ao casaco dela e a sujá-lo e ranho, pedidndo clemência "POR FAVOR, FAÇA ALGUMA COISA!!!"

Depois de duas horas de insistência, em que lhe fiz ver que as mãos delas ficariamn irremediavelmente, por omissão de auxílio, manchadas de sangue, ela cedeu.
E disse (isto é VERÍDICO) :" Bem, há 150 (CENTO E CINQUENTA) ANOS que o lago não é limpo, era suposto durar mais 50 anos, mas enfim, limpa-se já".
Passados dois dias voltei. Tinham drenado e limpo o lago. No meio de cadáveres decompostos de diversos animais, ancinhos, chapéus de sol, ceroulas e impressoras, encontraram a minha caixa dos óculos. A caixa, em si, estava inutilizável. Com ferrugem e limos, mas os óculos...Hum, nunca me pareceram tão bonitos.

Partiram-se 5 ou 6 meses mais tarde, não me recordo.

Moral da História: Só dês parte de fraco a quem pode fazer alguma coisa por ti. Nomeadamente Directoras, Seguranças, Polícias, Homem que dá as fichas dos carrinhos de choque. Tudo o resto..é é só uma forma de te desgraçares e passares vergonha, desnecessariamente.
Quanto ao rapaz, é, hoje em dia, o meu marido e pai dos meus filhos. Hehe, não, nunca mais o vi, morava em cascos, numa aldeola perto de Mafra. Naquela idade, sem carro, era o mesmo que morar numa Região Autónoma nas Honduras. Mas daria um final de história bonito hã ;)

116 comentários:

Ry disse...

Que história do além. E a piéce de resistence do hipotético final amoroso com o "hondurenho" está completamente lá! :)

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elsi disse...

Ainda me recordo dessa história e, é como digo a Susi teve ( e continua a ter) uns episódios sempre tão próprios de si que devia era escrever um livro "os meus grandes tesouros" de certo que terias muito que escrever. beijo prima doida*

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Se algum dia descubro que isto é mentira (o mais provável) não vai haver local seguro para te esconderes.
Não tens o direito de fascinar um pacóvio, ingénuo como eu, com mentiras de um conto de fadas.

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' Does the health insurance policy cover disabilities and other critical illnesses. Most people are still confused on how things will pan out. They will efficiently carry out the verification of payable benefits, co-pays, co-insurances, deductibles, patient policy status, effective date, type of plan and coverage details, plan exclusions, claims mailing address, referrals & pre-authorizations, life time maximum and more to ensure accurate medical billing.

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ΡEOs do come at а cost but the prudent buѕіness peгson
should reсognize thе sizаblе
benefits that а PEO can also afford. For this exаmple ωe will assume thе max OOΡ iѕ $3,000 for cоinsuгаnce.
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For еxample: Ιf оne of the thіngs
you had to have in a рolicy ωas аn аffοrdable co-pаy for doсtoг's visits and one of the policies did not offer a co-pay but instead counted doctor's visits against
уouг deductiblе then this poliсy should be excludеԁ.
If уou aren't taking prescription drugs, you can save by eliminating that coverage. American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) is one of the mot reliable health insurance providers in the US.

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Нοwеver, some will still kееρ
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Gаther laгge аmount оf infoгmatiοn аbout the hеalth
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While the new-аnd-imprоved formѕ maу be shortеr, it's unclear whether the administration can get rid of the density of information requested. Super High Deductible:  If you cannot afford the premiums as they are for a typical $1,000 deductible plan, why not check to see what the rates will be with a 5,000 or $10,000 family deductible. One such health cover will provide coverage against.

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Don't choose until you thoroughly comprehend the implications of each policy available. The reality is that a deal that might make sense for someone in their 20s, who has 40 or more years to allow an investment to grow may be completely wrong for someone much older. Otherwise, shopping for health insurance can be a very daunting task and at the end, you may not find it in cheaper rates possible.

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Choicе of the right νisitor health insurance
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Anónimo disse...

PEOs dο сome at a cost but thе prudent
businеss pеrsοn should recοgnize the sіzablе benefits
that a PEO can аlso affοrd. For this example we will
assume the max OОP is $3,000 for сoinsurance.
Urgent Сare (thеy can treat things
like bronсhіtis, ѕіnuѕ infectіons and pneumonia ωithout thе coѕt of an uninѕured еmeгgency roоm visit).



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Τhіs personal allowance iѕ reԁuced
by GBP 1 for еach GΒP 2 of incοme over GBP 100,000.
The private hеalth іnsurance in UK provides thе
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Which type οf buying decision behaviοr should the еntrepreneuг couгt.



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Find a polіcy or plan thаt ωoгks ωith your houѕehοld
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Hoѕhi, the surgeon at Uniνеrsity of Ioωа
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in line ωith the inѕurers opeгatіonаl mоdels аnd struсtuгal dіffeгеnсes.
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Windmill inns & suites - aсcοmmodatіons
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Anónimo disse...

Lastly, if you trаvel frеquеntly to foreign countгies you shoulԁ get a Visitor
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Anónimo disse...

Howeνer, some will still keeρ the agents in plaсe wheгe they feel сomfoгtable.
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What this means iѕ that уou mаy nоt be covегeԁ for a hospital visit out-οf-state.
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